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Crashing Werner’s Party

Laszlo Brauning (not his real name) decided the appropriate way to attend rogue filmmaker Werner Herzog's exclusive (and expensive) film seminar was by going rogue himself:

I grabbed the badge. They enjoyed my curiosity, admiring their new prizes along with me. We studied each letter together.

I felt like a secret agent. I used my fingers to measure the border design, using my pinky finger to approximate the width of the top margin and my thumb for the left. When we were done, I walked back to a booth and jotted down my notes on a napkin.

On my way home, I stopped at my cellist friend’s apartment to peruse her collection of backstage passes, and found a white lanyard and accompanying plastic ID holder that were the approximate size and shape. I spent two hours coloring the lanyard grey with marker and manufacturing the ID in Photoshop.

Everything was set. No element of my fake credentials was perfect, so I threw on a scarf and blazer to obscure it and readied myself to be the pretentious film guy whom no one could talk to.

I walked past the stooge at the door with a nod and a smile. He smiled back. I was in.

--Flavorwire: First Person: Going Rogue at Werner Herzog’s Rogue Film School

I happen to know this filmmaker and can vouch that almost everything in this story is true. One thing that I don't know, but I imagine isn't true, is that "Laszlo" imagines Werner Herzog would not be pleased by his crashing the film school. I have to imagine that Werner is laughing right now at the irony of a rogue filmmaker forging his way in to a seminar about how to forge film permits.

About J. Ott

John Ott is a writer, filmmaker and futurist. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook and Google+.