The Onion‘s Keith Phipps declares in his otherwise mixed review of the Kirsten Dunst/Orlando Bloom vehicle:

The film’s worst moments are like watching a smiley-face cheer up a mannequin.

–Elizabethtown | The A.V. Club

RELATED: My nemesis A.O. Scott says: “Mr. Bloom distinguishes himself, in this performance as in most of his others, by his steadfast reluctance to explore his range as an actor.” Since my opinions are usually 180 degrees away from A.O.’s, maybe I will find this a great performance when I see it Friday night.

STILL ON TOPIC: Speaking of Elizabethtown, vfxblog has an interview with a man who did some special effects on it that are completely invisible.

UPDATE 10/17/05: Didn’t see Elizabethtown this weekend after all. Stayed in and wrote my screenplay like a good little boy.