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Liveblogging the Independent Spirit Awards

The Independent Spirit Awards
with Beauty and the Beast hosting
was on IFC at 5pm EST
replay on Bravo at 10pm EST (just add five hours)
This is sort of a test run for tomorrow night's Academy Awards Liveblog extravaganza.

Go to the liveblog!Just keep hitting the refresh button to keep up.

4:41 The pre-show is already on. I admit I've never seen this show. I have no idea what to expect.
4:42 Who the heck is Alison Bailes? Then again, she's 8,052 notches above Joan Rivers.
4:46 It occurs to me that most of the Oscar nominees are equally obscure to the rest of America.
4:47 FLASHBACK! 1999! Shouldn't this clip be in black and white.
4:47 Who can forget Ally Sheedy? Wait, who is Ally Sheedy?
4:51 Okay, that background behind Alison Bailes is really trippin' me out.
4:58 Now they tell me Samuel L. Jackson is hosting? What about Beauty and the Beast?

5:00 It begins.
5:01 Wow, the set really looks plastic.
5:01 Did he just say 'motherfuckers'? TiVo - ing now.
5:02 He did! He did say 'motherfuckers'! Notify the triumvirate!
5:04 David Allen Grier is the cutaway when it comes to coke.
5:06 Here's Melvin today. Here's Melvin twenty years ago. Ah! The magic of television.
5:07 More 'fucks'! Chris Rock is going to have to work very very hard to catch up.
5:08 On a serious tip, like the thank the agents at the top bit. Oscar should steal that. (Plus thanking, mom, god and Bruce Villanch.)
5:10 Best Male Supporting... and the winner is... Thomas Hayden Church!
5:12 Shorter THC: I'd really like to thank the independent film community for not being Wings.
5:14 Big fork clank. Could they not mic Harvey Weinstein.
5:15 Nice bit with the fake live Waters.
5:16 Best First Screenplay... please be Shane Carruth, please be Shane Carruth... damn! Joshua Marston
5:17 Pretty good speech for someone who doesn't speak English.
5:21 Shorter Joshua Marston: "I have magic socks! Calzones magicos!"
5:23 Best Supporting Actress... which Kate Blanchett was nominated? ... winner is ... Virginia Madsen's ADD son ... no, it's... Virginia Madsen
5:26 Enjoy it Sideways crowd, 'cause you ain't winning the Oscars.
5:27 Son seen more than what he should've seen? I think I'm seeing more than I should've seen through her top.
5:28 Most Fabulous Cinematography... Eric "Tim" Gautier??
5:30 Accepting for Eric Gautier, a Calvin Klein model.
5:32 Sammy taking his sweet time coming out again. I think he really does go out and smoke a ciggy during each presentation.
5:33 Ooh, a musical number. Ouch, with Megan Mulally.
5:35 Philip Seymour Hoffman as Capote? That's like Gilbert Gottfried playing the AFLAC duck.
5:36 The montage of losers - must it always end with Paul Giamatti?
5:37 Best Screenplay... Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor Sideways
5:40 Shorter Alexander Payne: "I'm a studio whore."
5:41 No commercial breaks? This is exhausting. Oh wait. This is it! But I'm so entertained.
5:44 As far as movies that came out last year, for me Primer is the one that got away. Serveral people I know really loved it. I will see. But on video.
5:46 Wow, can I vote for that chick like on American Idol?
5:47 My friend GL is insisting I write "Gyllenhall, more like Gyllen-tall"
5:48 Best Foreign... The Sea Inside... we may have our first Oscar overlap.
5:49 Shorter Amenabar: exactly what he said.
5:49 Elijah Wood, more like Elijah Short!
5:50 Best Documentary... Metallica: Some Kind of Monster
5:53 wm3.org
5:54 Joe Berlinger makes a dig against Michael Moore...
5:55 Michael Moore announces a muck-raking expose about Joe Berlinger!
5:56 Wooooooooooo! Go Kinsey!
5:57 And it has the best cabaret number too.

6:00 Zach Braff does the 'red rum' finger to express solidarity with fellow nominees who have the shining.
6:01 Best First Feature... Zach Braff, I mean, Garden State
6:03 Shorter Braff: "I'm off my meds. I hate my father! Up emo music."
6:05 Stop the music, stop the music!
6:05 Thank goodness all the producers got their chance to say such earthshaking thank yous.
6:06 Beauty and the Beast!!!
6:06 Quentin, stop shaking! You'll get your bump of pure Columbian in a minute.
6:07 Tarantino's trademark dialogue: in France, they don't say "and the award goes to," they say "Royale with Cheese".
6:08 Gina Kwon can produce my film any time. Grrrrowr!
6:12 bornintobrothels.com
6:16 My food is here. Forgive if liveblogging lightens.
6:17 Marc Forrester and Michael Stipe, seperated at birth?
circa 6:20 Some great one-liners by Mean Creek's mini David Brent.
6:33 Cuban sandwich from Cafe Habana. Yum!
6:34 Wave, stage moms, wave. This is your moment.
6:37 You don't like starlings? Well I don't like you, Hannah Pilkes!
6:39 Debut Performance... Roderigo de la Serna. Gee, he looks a lot like Gael Garcia Bernal.
6:41 Shorter Gael: Elijah Wood.
6:41 Noapplausa, does that word exist in English?
6:42 Who are we kidding, as long as Gael's beautiful mouth is moving, we'll never clap him off the stage.
6:43 The Cassavetes tradition: drug use, incoherence and masturbatory monologues.
6:47 Mean Creek wins. I kinda really wanna see this movie now.
6:50 This just in! Christo has eaten Jean-Claude.
6:51 Best Director... Alexander Payne - I posted this before I heard it. It is Sideways' night.
6:53 Professor Payne the pedant. Sounds like a Nebraska caricature that you could wrap a movie around.
6:54 The cameraman had instructions not to show him saying "human films" apparently. A commie plot!
6:57 David Allen Grier will be appearing as Tevya in Fiddler next month.
6:58 Kevin Bacon looks like he's wearing a fake neck. That's not a joke. That's a real and rather disturbing observation.
6:59 "Jeff Bridges for his portrayal of struggling novelist, Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski."

7:01 We're in overtime baby.
7:01 Best Male Lead. Prediction: Paul Giamatti wins.
7:01 Followup prediction: Paul Giamatti doesn't win the Oscar.
7:02 1 for 1 so far.
7:04 Robin Williams' inner monologue: "What's wrong with them, the deaf impression always kills."
7:05 Sideways wins!
7:06 If you don't want to be upstaged, then you must kill Robin Williams.
7:09 Williams leaves the stage. Biggest cheer of the night.
7:10 It was Sideways' day. Come back tomorrow night for the Oscar liveblog.